I was born into a Christian family — such a privilege and blessing. From young, my parents showed me who God is, exposed me to His Word, and brought me to church. Week after week, gospel seeds were planted and watered, and in God’s perfect timing, they finally took root and bore fruit.

But through most of my adolescent years, I was what you would call a “Sunday Christian”. School was my top priority. I would go to church with my parents, sit through PowerKids or service, and then head straight home. I was hardly interested in church life or community. My world revolved around studying, revising, and resting.

They say God is most real in the air — when people are praying for safety while flying in the plane from one destination to another. Similarly, God was most “real” to me during my exams, especially national exams. I remember praying to God more fervently before taking my PSLE, O’ Levels, and A’ Levels, asking Him to forgive my lukewarmness and to help me get the bare minimum grades to enter the school or course I was aiming for. Looking back, those prayers were rather self-centred. It was hardly the attitude that Jesus calls us to adopt in Matthew 6:33. Yet God, in His grace, still answered — perfectly. Each time, I got exactly what I prayed for. Spot on.

Praise God! But on hindsight, praise Him not for these results, but for the message that He was sending me through these results. A message that came years later during National Service...

I remember lying on my bunk bed one evening, thinking about life. Church was running the Alpha Course then, and one iconic question kept running through my mind: Is there more to life than this? 

All of a sudden, the years of studying, results, and achievements replayed in my head (just like the opening scene of a Marvel movie). The replay left me feeling hollow and sad.

That night, I realised that all I had accumulated were worldly gains. But in the process, I was slowly and surely losing my soul. 

Having experienced the power of God’s Word to bring joy, purpose and hope, I really wanted to do the same for others. I wanted to help people encounter God through His Word too. Naturally, full-time ministry started to make sense. It seemed like a way to marry both work and ministry, instead of having to juggle between the two. But it was still a relatively distant thought. 

In February 2025, after eight years in the audit industry, I decided it was time for a change. As an auditor, I had to be strict and principled. But I am naturally empathetic, and in my line of work, that empathy often became a weakness. Being too understanding towards clients sometimes meant compromising what was required of me. It made the job harder for both me and my superiors.

So, I decided to pursue something closer to my heart — teaching. It has always been a dream of mine! Even back when I was applying for university, I had a tough time choosing between Accounting and Teaching. This time, I went for it and applied to MOE. The application went smoothly, and the interview went really well.

But between February and August, while I was waiting for the results, God was also doing something deeper in me. He began stirring a stronger desire for full-time ministry — a growing sense that He was perhaps leading me there instead of MOE?

A big part of that came from our church’s sermon series on Philippians. Two verses in particular stood out for me:

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent… (Philippians 1:9-10)

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21)

These two verses can be lived out in a multitude of ways for different ones. Yet, the Holy Spirit was constantly nudging me to consider that, maybe, this might look like exploring the possibility of full-time ministry.

Friends around me had already received their MOE application results, but mine was still pending. I couldn’t help but feel that God was holding it back until I made up my mind. It felt like He was using the Philippians series to cause my love to abound more and more, till I would approve what was excellent. 

On 21 August at 9am, I took a leap of faith and officially withdrew my MOE application. Just five hours later, at 2pm, I received a call from MOE informing me that I had gotten the job. God's timing is perfect. I was stunned and filled with gratitude at this gracious and jaw-dropping confirmation from Him, an affirmation of my sensing that He had wanted me to make the call before He released the results. With this, I know that exploring the possibility of full-time ministry is indeed where He wants me to be in this season.

During this one-year internship in church, I pray that I may grow in overcoming my areas of weaknesses, through observing, learning and doing — especially in the area of confrontation (I hate confronting people and having difficult conversations!).

I’m definitely scared of being more of a hindrance than a help, yet I know that making mistakes is all part of the learning and growing process.

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent… (Philippians 1:9-10)

This verse reminds me why I have embarked on this journey — because I love Jesus and want to discern if full-time ministry might be how I can live for him more excellently.

And it reminds me to hold on to the future loosely, knowing that He will direct my path and show me His excellent way. I can truly rejoice, trusting that every part of this journey is for the glory of God, my discipleship and the growth of our church family. 

I'm excited to begin on this journey with King Jesus!