My name is Jania, which means God’s grace. As part of God’s grace, I was blessed to be born into a Christian family, which gave me exposure to the faith from a young age.
Growing up, my parents modelled Christ at home. This included praying before meals, bedtime stories from the Bible, and faithfully attending church services and Sunday School every Sunday. As a child, I listened and danced to God’s Word without giving it much thought, as it was simply part of my routine.
In primary school, I was constantly troubled by friendship problems in school. At that time, I believed that I had to overcome everything on my own. I felt that there was no one else who could help me and that I was completely alone. Although I managed to deal with things on the surface, deep in my heart there was a lot of anxiety and a strong desire to prove myself worthy as a friend.
However, a revelation of God’s realness to me during the Omega Night worship session at my first youth camp, Rendezvous 2019, proved me wrong.
During the worship set, an indescribable sense of warmth enveloped me. I no longer felt alone. I felt seen, and I felt peace. For the first time, I realised that I did not have to justify myself or constantly prove my worth. God lovingly accepted me just as I am. In that moment, God filled the void in my heart. He gave me confidence and reminded me through His promises that He will always be with me and that I do not need to be afraid.
God was no longer just a fairytale in a book.
Since then, I have chosen to make this faith my own. I am still learning what it means to fully rely on God and to lean not on my own understanding. Sometimes I find myself thinking, not really as a question but more as a passing remark, “Wah, why does a perfect God care about a sinner like me?” Yet, again and again, He reminds me of His grace.
Throughout this journey, I have come to know God in different ways.
First, as my Saviour. Jesus died on the cross for my sins so that I could be forgiven and restored into a relationship with Him. Through His sacrifice, I am no longer defined by my past mistakes, but by His grace and mercy. His love reminds me that I am redeemed, chosen, and deeply loved. It is nothing of what I have done by my own effort, but all because of what Jesus has done, I have the hope of new life and the assurance that I never have to walk this journey alone.
Second, as my Provider. As He knitted me together in my mother’s womb, He already had a perfect plan for my life. Nothing about my journey is accidental. So, whether in joy, sorrow, or even moments of boredom, I am reminded that God is sufficient in every season. He provides not only what I need, but also the people who walk beside me through different chapters of my life.
Third, as my Friend. My prayers today are often conversational. I submit all my praise, worries, and thoughts to Him. Moreover, I have realised that there is no need for fancy words when speaking to God; He simply desires an honest relationship with me.
For the longest time, baptism was something I kept putting off with a “see how, maybe next time” attitude. It did not seem all that necessary or urgent to me because I believed that as long as I had faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour, that was enough since I am saved by faith alone.
However, I am also called to make disciples.
Personally, I get absolutely terrified when it comes to talking about the gospel with pre-believers. Hence, baptism feels like the most meaningful and statement-making way for me to make His love known to others.
Therefore, I want to take this step of obedience to publicly declare my faith. I’ve come to understand more deeply that it is not by our own merit (such as good grades and works) that our broken world, or my own life, can be restored, but only through accepting God’s gift of grace. In doing so, I am inviting my church community to keep me accountable in my walk with God. Baptism for me is an outward expression of that inward transformation, and a step of obedience as I seek to follow Him more intentionally, reflecting His love to my non-believing friends and family.
Finally, I would like to thank God for His patience, love, and faithfulness in my life. I am deeply grateful for my family, mentor-like friends, my CG, and the wider church community whom I look up to. They have supported, encouraged, and guided me throughout this journey, and I truly see them as part of God’s provision in my life.
One Bible passage that has been especially meaningful to me is Philippians 4:6–7. It reminds me not to be anxious about anything, but to bring everything to God in prayer and thanksgiving. Through this, I am reassured that the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
As I look ahead to what’s next, I may not know exactly what the future holds, but I trust that God is already there. Just as He has been faithful in every season of my life, I know He will continue to guide and provide for me. My prayer is that I will continue to grow in faith, trust Him more deeply, and live in a way that reflects His love to those around me.
