My name is Titus Kwok, I’m 21 this year, and I’m currently waiting to go to university to study Education. Today, I want to share my testimony, how Jesus has changed my life, and continues to transform my life day by day.
I grew up in a Christian family, so I knew of Jesus from a young age. Growing up in the church, I knew all the stories and all the “correct” takeaways. I attended church regularly, went for all the youth activities, and by the looks of things I really had it all together as a Christian.
But deep down, I knew that I was lacking a real relationship with Christ. I kept telling myself that I would get to it later, that I was “saved by grace through faith” so acts like quiet time and prayer didn’t really matter. I strived more for comfort and convenience over living for Christ, and while the constant nudging of the Holy Spirit was always there, I did nothing about it for a long time.
So I continued in my ways, and nothing seemed wrong. I was doing well academically and socially, and it seemed like God was blessing me despite the way I was living. God was still knocking on the door of my heart, but I was too comfortable with the way I was living to do anything about it. The turning point for me came during one of the Youth Camps. One of my friends who had been separated from the church for a long time came back during the last night of Youth Camp, which is typically hallmarked by an extended time of worship and prayer.
The group of us huddled together and prayed, longer than I had ever prayed on my own, and more genuinely than I ever had. I was genuinely glad that my friend had returned, and it struck a chord in me how this God I had been puttng off really would never give up on us, no matter how far off we were from him. That’s when I decided I wanted to make a change, a more conscious effort to know and to love The One that had been pursuing me all along.
Of course change didn’t come immediately, but that was a start. I began to spend more time with Him and delve deeper into His Word. I figured I needed a reset, to start questioning for myself why I believed what I believed. By God’s grace, looking more into His Word led me closer to Him. I began to consult God more in prayer for my day to day living, and He’s really shown up for me time and time again, especially in my times of distress and pain.
A verse that God speaks to me time and time again is Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” As a “gifted” kid growing up, I relied a lot on my own understanding. I thought God gave me knowledge for a reason, and I wasn’t doing anything wrong by using it, but over-reliance on it made me lose sight of God’s role in my life. For a long time, I did things my own way, because it made sense. Studying made sense, handling emotions made sense, making friends made sense. But God kept pushing me to see that I had failed to truly lean on Him and not on my own understanding. I hit a point where there was nothing I could do, where I was utterly helpless, and God met me there. He reminded me to lean on Him, submit to Him, and He would make my paths straight. Accepting Christ as my Saviour was the easy part, but accepting him as Lord really takes time. Even now I sometimes struggle with obedience and surrendering everything to Him. I’ve definitely grown more in my walk with Him, but I do have a long way to go.
To me, baptism has always been a hard step to make. Between feeling like baptism was an unnecessary step and worrying about the judging eyes on me after I got baptised, I really struggled with wanting to take this step (if you would like to find out more, you can talk to me). I came to realise after talking to many older, more mature Christians, that although baptism was not necessary for salvation, it was an important part of our sanctification through obedience to Christ. I felt Christ convicting me on picking and choosing which of His commands to follow, and me being me I took a long while to research, trying to find loopholes to find a way to say water baptism wasn’t a command, but it all led me back to my desire to follow Jesus. To me, this step of baptism isn’t a dunk in the water to make everything okay with me, but a public commitment to wanting to follow in Christ’s footsteps and rely on Him.
All thanks to God, for providing me with such a great church community, for all the people that have spoken to me countless times about baptism (it really helped), and for continuously convicting me with the nudging of the Spirit. May we all continue to lean on God and His perfect understanding, surrendering to Him all our ways, so that He may make our paths straight.
