My name is Zach. I am currently a 17 year old student. I am a second-generation Christian from a family of four including both my parents and my older brother.
Before getting to know Christ, I heard all the usual bible stories and what Jesus did on the cross for me. But I don't think I ever thought of Christianity as anything more than a religion given to me like an inheritance by my parents.
I did have some personal morals such as to never bully or physically hurt someone, and it was the little things like those which made me feel like I was good enough to call myself a Christian and enter heaven. But looking back at the life I led back then, it was really nothing more than chasing worthless perfection and sinlessness with the wrong motivations. All through to late secondary school, I believe my parents would say that I was growing into someone that they did not like seeing. Though I was serving in my school’s worship team quite regularly, I pretty much lived the “Sunday Christian” lifestyle where the people in school or church would see me as the really devoted Christian guy while my family at home would see a very short-fused, lying, irresponsible and disrespectful person.
Things began to church around my Secondary 4 year. I began to take on more leadership roles as a senior at the Christian group I had joined in school. One of my roles was to lead worship sessions during our morning meets. Though it wasn't an official CCA or leadership role, I took it on happily thinking that I was just being more “christian” by doing more so called “holy activities”. However, I began to realize that all this serving and worship leading was slowly becoming more of a burden. On hindsight, there was no reason for me to do all these things — all the acting fueled by pride and praises from others was not reason enough to make me serve any longer. Eventually I questioned my actions and wondered if I was leading people to worship a Holy God or to just worship me, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much of a hypocrite I had become. Though I was probably at the lowest point of my spiritual life, God sent many people, such as Jaryl, to open my eyes to the God I had claimed to serve this whole time.
My moment of salvation was not an immediate one where I just confessed everything I had in a day. However, as I began to consider my newfound knowledge of a God who desired a personal relationship with me, I decided that I would put God to a test to win my heart. This came from reading James 4:8 which said, “draw near to him and he will draw near to you”, a verse I had put in a journal entry one day. That very same night I bowed in the secrecy of my room and prayed genuinely for the first time for this God to somehow reveal himself to me.
In the days that followed, I continued writing in my journal daily and praying at night. Day by day, God revealed himself to me more, sometimes through signs and wonders, but still I doubted, some days even questioning if I was just gaslighting myself.
Eventually, I gave God one final test. I remember saying, “God, can you please give me a sign that I 300% cannot deny, and I will turn my life to you”. It really did happen. Soon after at school, I felt prompted to send a message to a teacher whom I sensed was having a bad day. She thanked me and said that she was blessed to have crossed paths with me. The event, in itself, was not anything supernatural but when I received her reply, the Spirit touched me and God’s presence felt real. I began to cry, and as much as I was confused, I felt a sense of love that I had never felt before. I knew in my heart this was the sign from God that I could not deny, and I began to build my relationship with him.
After I received Christ, my goals, perspectives in life, habits and behaviour changed. For example, I was never really a book person, but suddenly I just felt more and more drawn to read the bible. I was suddenly hungry to be well read in the word of God. I also began to talk to my mom more personally about my spiritual life and our relationship began to turn more beautiful each day. The kind of friends I was making also changed quite drastically in the span of about 3 months which was honestly quite a crazy experience. Most importantly, I was growing a close relationship with God. Somehow, the moment Christ entered my life, I felt the weight of my spiritual burdens significantly lifted and knew this was the power of God.
To me, getting baptized means that I fully acknowledge my new identity in Christ, that I surrender my rights to the God who graciously met me. I know there was nothing I could have done to bring myself into this relationship with God. Jesus was the one who did it all by dying for me. He was the only one that made it possible for me to have this relationship with him and I accept the gift of life. Baptism is also my public declaration to my friends and family to show them the personal God who has won my heart and who deserves my praise.
I am very grateful for all that God has done for me. He has taken the worst of my life to lead me back to him step by step. I look forward to this new partnership in life with the father, that even as I struggle, he will teach me to love the things he loves and that he will mould me into his image day by day.
