Gabriella Saatvika Salvam
As a child, I always sought love from other people and assumed that people would give me genuine love, especially my parents. I clung to anyone who was āniceā to me outwardly and could not differentiate between genuine and fake care. I used to fantasize about living in a very beautiful and peaceful place where love was all around and people were genuine. I was very happy in this getaway from reality. But real life was different. I did not feel genuinely loved and cared for and began to look for love in the wrong places. This led to a string of difficult relationships which left me hurt and feeling abandoned repeatedly. I also developed some bad coping habits that were hard to break.
Because of my internal struggle and unhappiness, I became weak-minded and could not study and did poorly in school. I was also stubborn and did not listen to my parents. I was always saddened that there was no quality family time together. I used to get hurt and jealous when I saw other families spending time together and saw how united they were as a family unit.
I first heard about Jesus when I attend St. Margaretās Secondary. During chapel time, the students would sing hymns. We were each given a small pocket bible and a hymn book. However, I did not pay much attention the hymns or chapel time then. Even though I was not a very religious Hindu, I still prayed daily to the Hindu deities.
I first heard about Jesus when I attend St. Margaretās Secondary. During chapel time, the students would sing hymns. We were each given a small pocket bible and a hymn book. However, I did not pay much attention the hymns or chapel time then. Even though I was not a very religious Hindu, I still prayed daily to the Hindu deities.
I eventually became a teacher though I did not enjoy teaching. I was still trying to find true love. One of the school admin staff encouraged me to attend church and seek Jesus for all my problems. But that first encounter with church was a bad experience and left me utterly disappointed in Christians. A broken relationship in church also left me resentful and depressed and I had thoughts of ending my life. I turned back to Hinduism again. By this time, I had become aggressive and demanding of others. I was hurting others with words because I was hurting inside.
During the Covid years, I experienced another failed long-distance relationship and my relationship with my father took a turn for the worse. During that time, I followed the instruction on a Youtube video that led me to become aware of another, different consciousness within me that did not at all cooperate with me and constantly reminded me of all the negative thoughts and bad emotions. I did not know what to do at that time and had a very hard time with this.
During the Covid years, I experienced another failed long-distance relationship and my relationship with my father took a turn for the worse. During that time, I followed the instruction on a Youtube video that led me to become aware of another, different consciousness within me that did not at all cooperate with me and constantly reminded me of all the negative thoughts and bad emotions. I did not know what to do at that time and had a very hard time with this.
In 2023, my mother and I joined a Kriya Yoga course to receive spiritual help. Iāve always wanted to help others and so indicated my desire to volunteer at the centre once I had been initiated into the belief system. The centre leader was happy for me to help. I went on a pilgrimage to visit a shrine of one the enlightened gurus in the lineage. But I still did not find peace or help for my problems. One of the friends I made at the centre, when I confided in her about my problems, made it very clear that she was unable to help me. She expected that I would be able to handle my problems after going through the Kriya Yoga course. Again, here was a friendship broken and lost.
In 2024, I watched the movie āJesus of Nazarethā on YouTube because I remembered watching it on TV before. I felt a deep sadness and something stir within me to want to know Jesus. I also watched āThe Chosenā series. The events in the series that planted the seed of wanting to accept Jesus were (1) Jesus calling Mary Magdelene by name, and (2) when Simon walked on the water, sank and the way Simon cried to Jesus āDonāt let me goā¦. I am sorryā These 2 events hit me to the core.
I decided to read the Bible to get to know Jesus. At this time, I began to realise that Jesus was indeed the true, living God because He died for me on the cross and resurrected on the 3rd day. This affirmed my decision to believe in Jesus. I informed my mother that I accepted Christ and she accepted it.
As I watched āThe Chosenā series a couple of times, I was eager to be baptized. Late last year, I contacted WEFC about wanting to be baptized and move ahead with my decision to be a Christian. SK advised to delay my baptism for a season so that I could be sure about this decision I was making.
I started attending services on Sunday and the Christianity Explored course. I now have a better understanding of how Christ is the most important person in my life. I confess that Jesus is āthe way, the truth and the lifeā and that he is the only one who can save me. Only God can love and care for me so much to forgive me of all my sins. The Christianity Explored sessions helped me to understand Jesusā mission on earth ā to show people that we are saved only by faith through grace. I have also realised that doing good works to earn brownie points with God does not work because without His strength, nothing useful is going to happen. Through a Steps to Freedom session, I renounced all my past associations with past religions and other occultic practices. I have also renounced the āother consciousnessā I had allowed into my life. By the power of Jesusā name and with the help of the Holy Spirit, these things no longer have a hold on my life though I still struggle with the 'other consciousness'. But in His mercy, God will heal me. I also exercised forgiveness toward those who hurt me in the past as part of redeeming my freedom in Christ.
I started attending services on Sunday and the Christianity Explored course. I now have a better understanding of how Christ is the most important person in my life. I confess that Jesus is āthe way, the truth and the lifeā and that he is the only one who can save me. Only God can love and care for me so much to forgive me of all my sins. The Christianity Explored sessions helped me to understand Jesusā mission on earth ā to show people that we are saved only by faith through grace. I have also realised that doing good works to earn brownie points with God does not work because without His strength, nothing useful is going to happen. Through a Steps to Freedom session, I renounced all my past associations with past religions and other occultic practices. I have also renounced the āother consciousnessā I had allowed into my life. By the power of Jesusā name and with the help of the Holy Spirit, these things no longer have a hold on my life though I still struggle with the 'other consciousness'. But in His mercy, God will heal me. I also exercised forgiveness toward those who hurt me in the past as part of redeeming my freedom in Christ.
By Godās blessings, I received help and support in my journey with Christ. I am also guided to look to the Word of God. I am confident that God is always with me. He will never abandon me. I look forward to serve Jesus. I see Him like a father to me. No doubt, I will fail Him daily, but I know that He hears me and will guide me. I only live for Jesus. I also got to know the Holy Spirit who is my guide when I read the bible so that the living word of God speaks to me and helps me to develop more of the fruits of the Spirit and be like Jesus, through His grace and mercy. God is indeed good to me. Amen. Hallelujah!